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Pictures Into Words

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[25 Jan 2006|05:41pm]

I wrote a poem today

Head FirstCollapse )

oh and one of the poems I submitted awhile ago got in our schools lit mag!
make me into something new

maybe someone will read this, if someone still checks this community [24 Oct 2005|06:41pm]
A Bittersweet Victory

First, we had to draw numbers to decide on our order. Thirty-two sweaty palms in that old hat all hoping to grab lucky number thirty-two. Only Hunter Hudson was so lucky.
I had spent weeks writing my speech. So much research and dedication went into those two sheets of standard paper, just to be sure I had it right. I had edited, perfected, and practiced until I was sure I was going to win. ‘This was my time’, I thought. I had to win.
I picked the slip of paper. Number sixteen. Not too bad, right in the middle. I smirked all the way through the first nine speeches. ‘These kids don’t have a chance’, I thought, as number twelve finished reading. I knew it was poor sportsmanship to think this of my competitors, but I didn’t care. I was going to win if it killed me.
When it was my turn I confidently strutted (yes, strutted) to the front of the class. I read my speech with poise, grace, and not a small dose of superiority. Those wide-eyed sixth graders provided a much better audience than my stuffed animals. When I finished, the applause was so loud that I swear you could hear it outside the portable. I felt sorry for the kid who had to follow my act.
Everything was going as planned. All the kids after me, like the ones before me, didn’t even come close to the speech I had just given. This was until Hunter, “Number Thirty-two” Hudson.
Let me tell you about Hunter Hudson. He was sort of funny, but he was the kind of kid who didn’t take school seriously. He did no work, didn’t participate, and when he did raise his hand it was only to make a snide remark or a joke. He was the class clown. This clown of a kid didn’t care about the speech competition, he wrote a speech about speeches for God’s sake! What’s worse was that he had written his speech the day before. ‘Not a chance,’ I thought. It had become my refrain.
To my horror, the class burst into fits of laughter as soon as he began, and for a moment it sounded like he got a louder applause than I did.
“No fucking way!” I whispered under my breath as they announced him the winner. I felt scandalized. That jerk! How dare he show me up? Still, I smiled stiffly and congratulated him, even patted him on the back.
I don’t know why I did it, but as he was walking away I stuck my foot out at just the right time to watch him fall flat on his face. Everybody laughed. A bittersweet victory.

Half Empty

I barely hear the phone ring over the tap. I look at it, but leave it. I’m trying this new thing where I screen all of my calls because I know that I’ll pick up one day, and be stuck with talking to my mother for an hour an a half about all of my failed relationships and why I ‘just can’t settle down’.
The machine picks up.
“Hey babe, it’s me…”
John. John is the guy with ‘fidelity issues’, as he put it. The guy who is bad for you, but who you just can’t let go of. I swear at one point I thought I was in love with him. He told me no one could ever replace me but he was full of bullshit because along came Janice followed closely by Mary.
“Stop calling me!” I say to the machine, “It’s never going to happen you ass!” Clearly John hasn’t picked up on this.
I stare impatiently at the tub. ‘Half empty or half full?’ I wonder. The phone rings. I wait for the machine to do its thing.
“Nicole? Hi honey it’s…”
Adam. Classic mama’s boy so obsessed with his mother that it drove me out of the picture. There was only room for one woman in his life. He forgot my birthday because it was his mother’s dog show; he even skipped Valentine’s Day to have a ‘lunch and spa day’ with her. He wouldn’t even let me meet her for fear of what she would think of me. Maybe he’s gay.
“I can’t talk to you right now, I think you’re gay!” I yell over the sound of my bath, not quite full.
I get into the bath prematurely (another problem with both John and Adam) imaging that the white porcelain is just another obstacle between us. I close my eyes and let the warm water soothe my aching body. The phone rings again. I don’t even flinch.
“Oh, Nicole, you must be out. Well, hi, I mean, hey. It’s Josh.”
I slide into the tub so my ears are below the surface. There is nothing left to be said.

love your admin.
5 turned upside down make me into something new

[24 Jun 2005|08:16pm]

anonymity is a gift from god
melt into the croud like a pill on your tongue
it doesn't matter what you are
not to anyone
not there
not when your the mob
any act is excusable
just shelter them from individuality
shelter everyone from life
you are excused, repentance is unnecisary
salvation is within the ambiguos
make me into something new

[24 Jun 2005|08:16pm]

A million peices of shattered glass
Fragments scattered like salt on snow.
Tread carefully, you stand on holy ground.
The holiest of all.
Here lies ever broken drea.
Swiftly cross, don't look down,
you can still see images of happiness.
Keep looking to the empty sky.
The smog lets you look on without seeing.
As long as you don't see it, it's not happening.
Soon they will lay down too,
your dreams
soon to be broken.
seven years bad luck.
make me into something new

Dear God [13 Jun 2005|12:57am]


i want to rip off my skin
im drowning in my sin

slut get no respect in life
which is why it ends tonight

im sorry i told your secrets
im sorry if i hurt your heart

living in this filth is tearing me apart
This disgust i have in myself
is slowly breaking me

Dear God make me a bird
so i could be so free

I cant feel my blood in my veins
your wailing voice it pains

ive become my biggest fear
and now i dont know what to do

im drowing but its clear
ill never get out of here

im a prisoner trapped my your spitful words
things i belived i would have never heard

your misery is in loving company
bound here
so tell me

tell me im a whore again
or how i dont have a single friend

tell me that im unpretty
becuase i know all of it is true

i use to love myself
but what can this slut do?

she can post up skanky pictures
or even lie to herself

nothing will make her better
shes sick
its mental heath

so here i pray

God take me far away
help me fight the break of dawn

i dont want to have to face you
these hurtful battles are growing rather fond

they suck away the life in me
make me hate myself

and i sit here
cutting away the monster inside of me

Dear Dear God make me free
Oh Dear God
are you even listening?

where you there when i died
my eyes stopped glistening

my heart turned into steel
i became unreal

Here i sit letting you yell at me
as im writing this poem
fading away slowly
1 turned upside down make me into something new

[09 Jun 2005|11:24pm]

I wrote a poem about my godfather.I hope you like it.

The Days of Lester DayCollapse )
3 turned upside down make me into something new

First time so be nice < 3 [09 Jun 2005|09:06pm]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

KlayCollapse )
2 turned upside down make me into something new

just to keep some life here [02 Mar 2005|06:08pm]

some scribbled words written on my back porch in the fallCollapse )
8 turned upside down make me into something new

[29 Nov 2004|08:21pm]

Well it seems no one has posted for awhile and that makes me a little sad.

 The other day I had some of my friends give me random words and then i made a random poem. So uhhh... Here  it is!

Random word pooeeemmmmmCollapse )
1 turned upside down make me into something new

sky's a fallin' [03 Aug 2004|11:05pm]

up in the air, its a bird, its a plane...Collapse )
make me into something new

(i have nothing else to do tonight) [01 Aug 2004|11:08pm]
you know they hate plaid shirts
and they print out clipart penguins
to cover emphazima infested lungs
they bought the glue for half price
floral patterns on young girls thighs
last night I fucked your mom
shut up, dad
4 turned upside down make me into something new

[14 Jul 2004|08:13pm]

[ mood | crappy ]


crushed to peices

longing for your touch

why did you have to leave?

i miss you so damn much

trapped in this forever

all i want is you

leaving me not ever

why am i so confused?

your fault i am broken

so battered so used

this poem is for the love i felt

i feel it no more

my heart will no longer melt

my eyes will no longer cry

no more fights

i won't believe your lie

i know you didn't love me.

this i know for sure

your love is the disease

and i am looking for the cure

i can't stop crying

as i write these words

but i know one thing

you won't get back your shirts

i will burn all your pictures

put a curse on your soul

and won't even think

about your goul

you will always haunt me

i can live with this

but you aren't comming near me

and i don't fear your fists.




it sucks i know.. but yeah.. i just felt like posting..

3 turned upside down make me into something new

wow its been awhile. [12 Jul 2004|04:55pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Dosage of WordsCollapse )

make me into something new

Trembling and tasting. [12 Jul 2004|03:24pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I need advice with this one :\..Collapse )

4 turned upside down make me into something new

:\\. [10 Jul 2004|11:16am]
[ mood | blah ]

It's the same old story on some northeast Hollywood boulevard.
Neon flashes of GIRLSGIRLSGIRLS replaced by musty pharmacies..
But the cigarette smoke swirling in the pink dusk spells out the same name.
Her lipstick is one shade too bright tonight and her hair makes shadows like jailbars across her face.
Bitten thumbs flick ash from the ends of bitter cigarettes
Thumbs that used to taste and kiss and deliver lips and thighs and arched spine.
Thumbs for her left cheek, to rub away mascara-tasting tears for what she doesn't even know.
And she knows she gets you outside
Against a brick wall or graffiti or smudged store windows
With blackened lungs and undereyes and cavities and bright white tiles in your shower.
And you scream and drink cheap liquor and throw up on the sheets that still smell of her, still littered with her hair.
And she wants to be in them laughing and grazing but she needs to be alone.
Just behind the fingerprinted glass
Until the pink behind the clouds goes black and thumbs meet and lips meet and voices meet, laughing and crying all at once, in two throats.

This is based on the photo currently in the userinfo.

Yep. :\\.

4 turned upside down make me into something new

[27 Jun 2004|10:26pm]
14 turned upside down make me into something new

finally joined....I am ms. procrastinator... [21 Jun 2004|12:39pm]
you made fun of me for what I wore and what I could never be

and my brown sweatshirt I wore that day with parachute pants what was I thinking
back when I listened to linkin park and dashboard confessional and thought they were cool
back when you didn't smoke cigarettes and I didn't think about you
and now when our quebec road trips to cigarette dispensers where it doesn't matter how old you are to buy them (you bought 10 packs, I only bought 2) turn into drives of watching the windshield wipers

we just laugh and choke our way through cities and towns and border crossing streetlights
listening to dashboard and blink point 182 because we thought we were cool
2 turned upside down make me into something new

Im sorry.... [20 Jun 2004|01:31am]

I wrote this poem/ story thing tonight... it is loosely based on someone.... sorry its so long..

You IM me like every other day
we talk and exchange sexual puns
You tell me you have exciting news
You say you met a beautiful girl...
My now blurry eyes couldnt read the rest of the description of her
Days pass by and you im me... telling me about your conversations you two have
you tell me how much you think about her
that means you dont think about me
you tell me how much you want to be with her
and i know that means you dont want to be with me
One day you im me and tell me you have enough courage to tell her how you feel
my heart drops of disappointment, but i send you a smiley face and tell you to go for it
an hour later you say " She doesnt think of me.... She doesnt want to be with me"
I start to type "Now you know how it feels"... i hesitate...backspaced... and typed...

"Im sorry"
make me into something new

stream of consciousness and an unplugged guitar. [17 Jun 2004|09:25pm]

i didnt want to post the song in my lj, so i put it here. stream of consciousness with an unplugged guitar. thats what it should be called.

sometimes it hits me,
like a flatbed truck that i've
been singin on, riding around, from town to town,
and you follow me.

because when it hits me,
that i'm outta luck,
and i've been burning out, just a little too much,
and you follow me.

and you follow me.

sometimes it hits me,
that it's all gone away, and
a bottle of hope is all i have to keep me here,
you open it for me.

because when it hits me,
that i've thrown it all away, and
a bottle happiness is smashed against the door,
you open it for me.

you open it for me.

maybe some day i'll find myself
with in beer in my hand for a reason
out of season, out of place, out of my mind.
maybe when you bring me
shotgun shells and an empty case to dream in,
dreamin, dream out, dream on, dream on, dream on.
make me into something new

[12 Jun 2004|01:30am]
i waited for you, and you never came. i have seven cigatettes. i used to have twenty five. i smoked twenty five minus seven while waiting for you. i wore my best plaid shirt, and my favourite pants, all so that i would look good when i met with you. i wore a watch to make sure i was on time. i did my hair up all pretty and cleaned my glasses. i made sure my breath smelled good, and picked you a flower. i recited things i would say to you over and over, just to be sure i didnt mess up. i picked the dirt from under my fingernails, and did my make-up special for you. i waited for you, and you never came.
thats okay, i never liked you that much anyways.
2 turned upside down make me into something new

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